So my wife allowed me to purchase my first Harley on Saturday, April 26, 2008. I will be picking it up later this week after all the paperwork is done and such.
It is a 2008 Sportster 883 Custom, with only 8 miles on it! Not only is it the first Harley we have ever bought, it is also the first "new" vehicle we have ever bought. So I will be doing the engine break-in routine the first couple of weeks to get it running good and right and be driving it to work.
It truly was God's hand that made it happen as well - if you would like to know the story, just email me or ask me and I will share it.
Until then....may God bless you and keep you safe.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Monday, September 17, 2007
True Lies = Satan's Dominion
It is not often I ever admit I am wrong. Not very often at all. Ask anyone who knows me very well (e.g. my wife, my children etc), and they will tell you I very rarely ever admit that I am wrong.
Well I have been wrong. 15 years ago I prayed a prayer at a friends house. It went like this:
Friend's Mom: "Do you want to pray with us?"
Me: "Sure."
Friend's Mom: "Okay repeat after me...."
She went on to pray a prayer of salvation, and afterwards asked me - "Do you know what you just did?" My reply, "Um...err...I think so....I guess."
They hugged me and said I had just gotten saved. To me, then I was saved. I had a home in heaven accordingly to the prayer I just repeated. I then went out that night and got drunk. And many nights of drunken and drug induced stupor followed in the 6-7 years afterwards.
My wife, whom I married years later, shared the Gospel, and I could tell her, Yeah, I prayed a prayer for salvation once, at this place, with these people. She believed I was saved - I believed I was saved.
The problems started happening after we started going to church. I was uncomfortable, uneasy and didn't want to be there. Sure I blamed it on the fact that it was a conservative church, and many of those who attended seemed, at least to me, fake. They seemed to appear "perfect" while they always said they were not. Three people, Bill, Dale and Dave stick out in my mind as being real, being examples of a struggling Christian that is making the right choices most of the time, and always accepting that people step on toes, people fail and people fall flat on their faces.
Well the problem was not the church or the members, it was me. I despised going to church, being told that how I felt was wrong, that what I wanted was wrong, that what I wanted to do was wrong and that smoking and drinking were wrong. I despised everything about life.....and soon people started paying a price for this. People I love and care about.
I moved, started a new job, found a new church and things were okay for a few months - I had found the answer, or so I thought. Truth was, it was merely a few months until I was smoking again and doing wrong things, cursing at my wife and children and treating them very poorly. Fighting, struggling against all that I knew was right. I fought it and fought it. Soon, I found myself doubting my salvation, and not for the first time. But I remembered many stories being related to me of people struggling with their salvation - so I was "normal" right? Wrong.
Finally, after enough lying to myself and to others, my wife found out that I had secretly started smoking again and her only question to me was, Why? Not why did I smoke - she understands the addiction, she understands my addictive nature - but why did I lie to her and hide it again? Why did I do this to her again?
At that point I had no answer for her. None. I was at work - she had called me to tell me she had found out where the $6.08 I kept claiming to not be spending was going. I was going to leave work early - go for a "smoke cruise", a short drive wherein I would smoke many cigarettes and contemplate life. Contemplate life.............
At that point a sudden and intense fear came over my entire being - and very huge and very real fear. I completely felt that if I left for that drive - I may never see my wife and children again. Not as in never again on this earth, but never again at all in eternity. I really started questioning my motives in life. My ability to do completely wrong, and barely have a surface feeling of remorse for most things. I upheld the court based laws - but I knew I was not upholding the way of the Lord. I knew. And in that instant the fear didn't come to me to show me that I was going to die, no the fear came to me to show me that if I didn't make a choice I would die unto the Lord - I would not be on the list in Heaven and my name would be forgotten - I would be turned away forever.
So on September 14, 2007 at 2:01 pm, I finally realized that I was a sinner, condemned to eternity in Hell and that I deserved nothing but death and destruction. I realized that the prayer I had prayed 15 years ago was an empty repetition, and I had no clue what I was doing, why I was doing it or anything else. I remember not feeling much different after the fact 15 years ago, and I never lived my life different after the fact. I remember struggling with everything, and I would tell my wife that the whole time I was drinking, doing drugs and all kinds of other bad things that I knew there was something better - in a way that she took it that I knew the life I lived was wrong and that I knew I had to come back to God.
No, I was searching for answers. Searching for the keys. Searching for something I didn't have and seen others that had it and was envious and jealous of them. I didn't know what it was until the past few months. I had fought this for so long - but it only really started coming into focus because of the group of people that we have in our church now. A very graceful group, that is full of love, compassion and Christ's light. I seen what they did, how the carried themselves. I watched their lives sometimes with envy, sometimes with longing.
The past two weeks have found me seeing more salvation messages than I have seen in nearly two years. This past weekend, we had a tribute to the public service personnel that perished on 9/11. That message had the strongest salvation message I have heard yet at our new church - and I managed to hold on to my chair even tighter than ever before. But I knew. I knew in my heart of hearts, in my soul, with everything that I had - I needed to kneel before God, accept and confess that I was a sinner, that I was wrong, and that I never really truly asked Jesus Christ to be my personal savior. And, as I said, last Friday I made that choice.
The healing has only just started - but I feel that I can accomplish anything at this point.
If you have never truly asked Jesus to be your savior, I implore that you do so. It is easier than anything I have done, yet I fought it and made it the hardest thing I thought I would ever do. The bible says now is the accepted time. I am glad I did it before it was too late and I no longer had the chance to choose Christ.
Well I have been wrong. 15 years ago I prayed a prayer at a friends house. It went like this:
Friend's Mom: "Do you want to pray with us?"
Me: "Sure."
Friend's Mom: "Okay repeat after me...."
She went on to pray a prayer of salvation, and afterwards asked me - "Do you know what you just did?" My reply, "Um...err...I think so....I guess."
They hugged me and said I had just gotten saved. To me, then I was saved. I had a home in heaven accordingly to the prayer I just repeated. I then went out that night and got drunk. And many nights of drunken and drug induced stupor followed in the 6-7 years afterwards.
My wife, whom I married years later, shared the Gospel, and I could tell her, Yeah, I prayed a prayer for salvation once, at this place, with these people. She believed I was saved - I believed I was saved.
The problems started happening after we started going to church. I was uncomfortable, uneasy and didn't want to be there. Sure I blamed it on the fact that it was a conservative church, and many of those who attended seemed, at least to me, fake. They seemed to appear "perfect" while they always said they were not. Three people, Bill, Dale and Dave stick out in my mind as being real, being examples of a struggling Christian that is making the right choices most of the time, and always accepting that people step on toes, people fail and people fall flat on their faces.
Well the problem was not the church or the members, it was me. I despised going to church, being told that how I felt was wrong, that what I wanted was wrong, that what I wanted to do was wrong and that smoking and drinking were wrong. I despised everything about life.....and soon people started paying a price for this. People I love and care about.
I moved, started a new job, found a new church and things were okay for a few months - I had found the answer, or so I thought. Truth was, it was merely a few months until I was smoking again and doing wrong things, cursing at my wife and children and treating them very poorly. Fighting, struggling against all that I knew was right. I fought it and fought it. Soon, I found myself doubting my salvation, and not for the first time. But I remembered many stories being related to me of people struggling with their salvation - so I was "normal" right? Wrong.
Finally, after enough lying to myself and to others, my wife found out that I had secretly started smoking again and her only question to me was, Why? Not why did I smoke - she understands the addiction, she understands my addictive nature - but why did I lie to her and hide it again? Why did I do this to her again?
At that point I had no answer for her. None. I was at work - she had called me to tell me she had found out where the $6.08 I kept claiming to not be spending was going. I was going to leave work early - go for a "smoke cruise", a short drive wherein I would smoke many cigarettes and contemplate life. Contemplate life.............
At that point a sudden and intense fear came over my entire being - and very huge and very real fear. I completely felt that if I left for that drive - I may never see my wife and children again. Not as in never again on this earth, but never again at all in eternity. I really started questioning my motives in life. My ability to do completely wrong, and barely have a surface feeling of remorse for most things. I upheld the court based laws - but I knew I was not upholding the way of the Lord. I knew. And in that instant the fear didn't come to me to show me that I was going to die, no the fear came to me to show me that if I didn't make a choice I would die unto the Lord - I would not be on the list in Heaven and my name would be forgotten - I would be turned away forever.
So on September 14, 2007 at 2:01 pm, I finally realized that I was a sinner, condemned to eternity in Hell and that I deserved nothing but death and destruction. I realized that the prayer I had prayed 15 years ago was an empty repetition, and I had no clue what I was doing, why I was doing it or anything else. I remember not feeling much different after the fact 15 years ago, and I never lived my life different after the fact. I remember struggling with everything, and I would tell my wife that the whole time I was drinking, doing drugs and all kinds of other bad things that I knew there was something better - in a way that she took it that I knew the life I lived was wrong and that I knew I had to come back to God.
No, I was searching for answers. Searching for the keys. Searching for something I didn't have and seen others that had it and was envious and jealous of them. I didn't know what it was until the past few months. I had fought this for so long - but it only really started coming into focus because of the group of people that we have in our church now. A very graceful group, that is full of love, compassion and Christ's light. I seen what they did, how the carried themselves. I watched their lives sometimes with envy, sometimes with longing.
The past two weeks have found me seeing more salvation messages than I have seen in nearly two years. This past weekend, we had a tribute to the public service personnel that perished on 9/11. That message had the strongest salvation message I have heard yet at our new church - and I managed to hold on to my chair even tighter than ever before. But I knew. I knew in my heart of hearts, in my soul, with everything that I had - I needed to kneel before God, accept and confess that I was a sinner, that I was wrong, and that I never really truly asked Jesus Christ to be my personal savior. And, as I said, last Friday I made that choice.
The healing has only just started - but I feel that I can accomplish anything at this point.
If you have never truly asked Jesus to be your savior, I implore that you do so. It is easier than anything I have done, yet I fought it and made it the hardest thing I thought I would ever do. The bible says now is the accepted time. I am glad I did it before it was too late and I no longer had the chance to choose Christ.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Listening
A quiet spot is required.
Open ears are required.
An open mind is required.
An open heart is required.
In our normal everyday lives, we listen to the radio, to the television, to the person in line at the store, to the weather forecast, to the person calling us names as they cut us off in traffic.
We listen to our children, what they want, what is hurting them, and what they find most bothersome that day.
Sometimes we listen to our parents (as we get older, we seem to value their hidden wisdom much more), sometimes listen to the youth leader or pastor.
Very rarely though, do we listen to God. Rarely I say because we always "hear" God and we always "see" God. We see Him in the world around, we see Him working in lives around us and we see Him when he works in our lives.
We hear Him when he asks us to do something, when He tells us to stop doing something, when He desires us to serve Him.
Yet though we hear Him, we do not listen. Listening would require that we fully acknowledge Him, His wishes, His plan, His desires, His likes and dislikes of our current state of living. Ultimately it would require that we most likely need to change something about ourselves, do something more for Him or stop doing something for Him. It could be more drastic, such as moving away, becoming a missionary half-way around the world or standing in front of 30 people teaching and leading a Sunday School class, or a small group.
Listening to God requires (as stated earlier):
A quiet place: We must block out all the maelstrom of life (see http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/maelstrom, 2nd definition) and find a quiet place in which we can focus on God and God alone. We can listen to Him in this small quiet and find out truly what He desires for us to be, to do, to not do and most of all, how He desires to use us for His glory.
Open ears: We must open our spiritual ears to listen to God. This means being willing to hear the voice in the small quiet that we have attained. You must hear the voice, before you can listen to the voice.
Open mind: We must have our mind open, for it is the tool of Satan to plant thoughts of fear, thoughts of doubt, and thoughts that are misleading in general. Satan seeks to devour us, even if we are a saved Christian, he will stop at nothing to destroy our walk with God, destroy our testimony to Christ and see us fail to be that which the Lord desires us to be. Satan wishes to destroy our testimony so that others will fall by the wayside. Having an open mind is paramount to being able to listen to God. We must block out the wiles of the devil and place God alone in our thoughts to be able to listen fully with understanding and willingness to be led by the Lord.
Open heart: We must understand that God will ask us to do things that are not easy, are not fun and are not glorious to ourselves. However, with the open heart that is required to truly listen to God, we can understand that it is for Him and His will that we are listening, and thus we can have grace, strength and wisdom to accomplish all things through Christ. We can understand that His calling is so far above any other that there is truly no comparison and that His blessings will far outweigh the temporary pleasures of the Earth.
With all four of these items present, we can truly listen to God, His will for our lives, and we can do so understanding that it is not about our needs, our desires and wants, but about His kingdom, His glory and His desires and wants for our lives. We can understand what He requires of us, and we can accomplish it with the necessary grace, strength, wisdom, compassion, understanding and peace knowing that He is standing there with us, guiding us and keeping us from falling on our face, if we are truly listening to His guidance.
Open ears are required.
An open mind is required.
An open heart is required.
In our normal everyday lives, we listen to the radio, to the television, to the person in line at the store, to the weather forecast, to the person calling us names as they cut us off in traffic.
We listen to our children, what they want, what is hurting them, and what they find most bothersome that day.
Sometimes we listen to our parents (as we get older, we seem to value their hidden wisdom much more), sometimes listen to the youth leader or pastor.
Very rarely though, do we listen to God. Rarely I say because we always "hear" God and we always "see" God. We see Him in the world around, we see Him working in lives around us and we see Him when he works in our lives.
We hear Him when he asks us to do something, when He tells us to stop doing something, when He desires us to serve Him.
Yet though we hear Him, we do not listen. Listening would require that we fully acknowledge Him, His wishes, His plan, His desires, His likes and dislikes of our current state of living. Ultimately it would require that we most likely need to change something about ourselves, do something more for Him or stop doing something for Him. It could be more drastic, such as moving away, becoming a missionary half-way around the world or standing in front of 30 people teaching and leading a Sunday School class, or a small group.
Listening to God requires (as stated earlier):
A quiet place: We must block out all the maelstrom of life (see http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/maelstrom, 2nd definition) and find a quiet place in which we can focus on God and God alone. We can listen to Him in this small quiet and find out truly what He desires for us to be, to do, to not do and most of all, how He desires to use us for His glory.
Open ears: We must open our spiritual ears to listen to God. This means being willing to hear the voice in the small quiet that we have attained. You must hear the voice, before you can listen to the voice.
Open mind: We must have our mind open, for it is the tool of Satan to plant thoughts of fear, thoughts of doubt, and thoughts that are misleading in general. Satan seeks to devour us, even if we are a saved Christian, he will stop at nothing to destroy our walk with God, destroy our testimony to Christ and see us fail to be that which the Lord desires us to be. Satan wishes to destroy our testimony so that others will fall by the wayside. Having an open mind is paramount to being able to listen to God. We must block out the wiles of the devil and place God alone in our thoughts to be able to listen fully with understanding and willingness to be led by the Lord.
Open heart: We must understand that God will ask us to do things that are not easy, are not fun and are not glorious to ourselves. However, with the open heart that is required to truly listen to God, we can understand that it is for Him and His will that we are listening, and thus we can have grace, strength and wisdom to accomplish all things through Christ. We can understand that His calling is so far above any other that there is truly no comparison and that His blessings will far outweigh the temporary pleasures of the Earth.
With all four of these items present, we can truly listen to God, His will for our lives, and we can do so understanding that it is not about our needs, our desires and wants, but about His kingdom, His glory and His desires and wants for our lives. We can understand what He requires of us, and we can accomplish it with the necessary grace, strength, wisdom, compassion, understanding and peace knowing that He is standing there with us, guiding us and keeping us from falling on our face, if we are truly listening to His guidance.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Go Crazy
As I sit here waiting for the latest version of PHP to compile on my web server, I have been sorting through some thoughts that I have been having the past few weeks/months.
I came up with a little saying a while back, and for some reason it seems that it could be taken as rude, curt or just wrong - the saying is:
Societal according to dictionary.com:
It is not that we are blind to the world around us, but that we idiots when it comes to people, their relationships with each other and their relationships to God. Calloused point of Societal Ignorance. We just don't find out where people truly are in their daily walk with God - we make one of two assumptions far too often - they are either saved or unsaved.
How many times do we stop and find out the Why? Why are they not saved? What is their road block to eternal salvation? What can we do to share the love of Christ with them?
If they are saved do we ever ask the Why? Why do they not serve in the church? Is there a bad experience from serving and it not working out right? Do they have a lack of self confidence in their service to the Lord?
Paul wrote in the New Testament, letters to churches that were meant to either steer the leaders and thus the church back on the right track, or to build up confidence in what the church and the leaders were doing.
The point of this? GO CRAZY.
Huh? Why is it we can memorize 5 years worth of players and their stats for our favorite {insert your sport name here} team. Why is it we can remember 3 languages (whether it be societal languages, programming languages, or something like Braille)? Why is it that we can learn and remember how to tear-down a car engine, rebuild it better and make it perform beyond the original manufacturer's spec? Because therein lies a passion for that particular part of life. A passion that generates within us a capacity to do great things with our mind, our bodies and sometimes our souls.
It is this same passion (though much more intense and very much more properly focused) that Christ took with himself to the Cross on Calvary. This passion that led him to be praying so fervently that he literally sweat blood. The same passion that He raised Lazarus with is the same passion He promises to raise the believer with. This passion made for us, a pathway to commune with our Father in Heaven - whenever we need, wherever we need. The passion with which he did the will of the Father - even though he did not want to (Matthew 26:39 - And he went a littler farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt. Matthew 26:42 He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.). This is the Passion of The Christ. To do as the Father willed, not as he himself willed - to set the example of obedience, to set the example of sacrifice, to set the example of love.
Why is it we have a hard time reading (or gasp - studying) the Bible, when we seem to have plenty of time to learn all the characters of our favorite novel, their traits, characteristics, their needs, wants and desires? Yet, we have a hard time understanding, finding and learning God's traits, characteristics and His needs, wants and desires for our lives and service unto Him?
Because the enemy is strong, beguiling and most of all out to destroy us, preferably before we come to the point of salvation in Christ Jesus. Yet, even after we are saved, Satan continues to hammer us to the point of desperation - to the point that we fall on our face - many times hard, fast and what we would call "without warning". However, Christ always gives us a warning - always gives us a consequence and always gives us a way around the beguiles of the devil. This choice, commonly called free will, is ours alone to make - and oh how many times we fall on our faces, make the wrong choice, the choice that goes against the Will of the Father.
Go Crazy. What do I mean by go crazy? What if we took and gave to our service to the Lord 50% of what we give to our other passions in life? What kind of great things could we do with our lives for God? It would be unprecedented. If we took our passion for God to a higher level, what could we accomplish? We could accomplish any task that God set before us, but only because our passion was with God, for God and through God. We must have the passion for service to God, and he will, through us, work amazingly - things that we may not even be able to fathom could come down from the Lord Himself.
You see, it is not because of our abilities, our gifts or our tools that we accomplish anything, but because of the passion with which we carryout the duties that God gives to us, that He accomplishes His work through us using the gifts, abilities and tools he has prepared within us for His use. This passion that carries truth, light and the Will of God is that passion that drove Paul to become the warrior for Christ that bestowed upon us the majority of the New Testament. The same passion that took him from hating Christians to becoming a light in the dark prison hole where himself and Silas sang hymns and praises unto God in the worst of the worst. Do we have that passion? Do we have what it takes to go crazy for Christ?
I came up with a little saying a while back, and for some reason it seems that it could be taken as rude, curt or just wrong - the saying is:
Societal Ignorance.
"It's not that we carry out our daily lives in oblivion, but that we have grown to be the calloused point of societal ignorance."
Societal according to dictionary.com:
noting or pertaining to large social groups, or to their activities, customs, etc.Ignorance according to dictionary.com:
the state or fact of being ignorant; lack of knowledge, learning, information, etc.We do not live in oblivion. We all know many things about the world we live in, the societies it holds and the people that make up those societies. Especially in the United States. The point of this snippet of English language is this:
It is not that we are blind to the world around us, but that we idiots when it comes to people, their relationships with each other and their relationships to God. Calloused point of Societal Ignorance. We just don't find out where people truly are in their daily walk with God - we make one of two assumptions far too often - they are either saved or unsaved.
How many times do we stop and find out the Why? Why are they not saved? What is their road block to eternal salvation? What can we do to share the love of Christ with them?
If they are saved do we ever ask the Why? Why do they not serve in the church? Is there a bad experience from serving and it not working out right? Do they have a lack of self confidence in their service to the Lord?
Paul wrote in the New Testament, letters to churches that were meant to either steer the leaders and thus the church back on the right track, or to build up confidence in what the church and the leaders were doing.
The point of this? GO CRAZY.
Huh? Why is it we can memorize 5 years worth of players and their stats for our favorite {insert your sport name here} team. Why is it we can remember 3 languages (whether it be societal languages, programming languages, or something like Braille)? Why is it that we can learn and remember how to tear-down a car engine, rebuild it better and make it perform beyond the original manufacturer's spec? Because therein lies a passion for that particular part of life. A passion that generates within us a capacity to do great things with our mind, our bodies and sometimes our souls.
It is this same passion (though much more intense and very much more properly focused) that Christ took with himself to the Cross on Calvary. This passion that led him to be praying so fervently that he literally sweat blood. The same passion that He raised Lazarus with is the same passion He promises to raise the believer with. This passion made for us, a pathway to commune with our Father in Heaven - whenever we need, wherever we need. The passion with which he did the will of the Father - even though he did not want to (Matthew 26:39 - And he went a littler farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt. Matthew 26:42 He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.). This is the Passion of The Christ. To do as the Father willed, not as he himself willed - to set the example of obedience, to set the example of sacrifice, to set the example of love.
Why is it we have a hard time reading (or gasp - studying) the Bible, when we seem to have plenty of time to learn all the characters of our favorite novel, their traits, characteristics, their needs, wants and desires? Yet, we have a hard time understanding, finding and learning God's traits, characteristics and His needs, wants and desires for our lives and service unto Him?
Because the enemy is strong, beguiling and most of all out to destroy us, preferably before we come to the point of salvation in Christ Jesus. Yet, even after we are saved, Satan continues to hammer us to the point of desperation - to the point that we fall on our face - many times hard, fast and what we would call "without warning". However, Christ always gives us a warning - always gives us a consequence and always gives us a way around the beguiles of the devil. This choice, commonly called free will, is ours alone to make - and oh how many times we fall on our faces, make the wrong choice, the choice that goes against the Will of the Father.
Go Crazy. What do I mean by go crazy? What if we took and gave to our service to the Lord 50% of what we give to our other passions in life? What kind of great things could we do with our lives for God? It would be unprecedented. If we took our passion for God to a higher level, what could we accomplish? We could accomplish any task that God set before us, but only because our passion was with God, for God and through God. We must have the passion for service to God, and he will, through us, work amazingly - things that we may not even be able to fathom could come down from the Lord Himself.
You see, it is not because of our abilities, our gifts or our tools that we accomplish anything, but because of the passion with which we carryout the duties that God gives to us, that He accomplishes His work through us using the gifts, abilities and tools he has prepared within us for His use. This passion that carries truth, light and the Will of God is that passion that drove Paul to become the warrior for Christ that bestowed upon us the majority of the New Testament. The same passion that took him from hating Christians to becoming a light in the dark prison hole where himself and Silas sang hymns and praises unto God in the worst of the worst. Do we have that passion? Do we have what it takes to go crazy for Christ?
Monday, April 23, 2007
Shattered
When my world around me was shattered,
I leaned upon you Lord.
When it all fell apart,
Your grace let me see the pieces.
When the anger ensued,
Your love quenched the flames.
When I stood broken,
You made me whole.
I cry to you Lord,
for you alone can comfort.
I lean on you Lord,
for you alone are the rock.
I reason with you Lord,
for you are gentle and just.
I kneel before you Lord,
for you are my King.
No matter what this life contains,
it is sufficient enough for me.
No matter what valley I find,
your grace carries me through.
No matter what is done to me,
your plan for me does not waver.
No matter what I have done,
your love triumphs all.
When the punches come swift,
you gird my soul with strength.
When the pain seems to endure,
you cover me with your protection.
When the path before me dims,
you shine all the more brighter.
When I stumble in my way,
you are there to lift me onto my feet.
Lord, to you I have said,
I love you and trust you,
with this life you have given me.
I love you and trust you,
with the plan you have for me.
I love you and trust you,
in all that you have done, for me.
For me, you died,
For you, I live.
I leaned upon you Lord.
When it all fell apart,
Your grace let me see the pieces.
When the anger ensued,
Your love quenched the flames.
When I stood broken,
You made me whole.
I cry to you Lord,
for you alone can comfort.
I lean on you Lord,
for you alone are the rock.
I reason with you Lord,
for you are gentle and just.
I kneel before you Lord,
for you are my King.
No matter what this life contains,
it is sufficient enough for me.
No matter what valley I find,
your grace carries me through.
No matter what is done to me,
your plan for me does not waver.
No matter what I have done,
your love triumphs all.
When the punches come swift,
you gird my soul with strength.
When the pain seems to endure,
you cover me with your protection.
When the path before me dims,
you shine all the more brighter.
When I stumble in my way,
you are there to lift me onto my feet.
Lord, to you I have said,
I love you and trust you,
with this life you have given me.
I love you and trust you,
with the plan you have for me.
I love you and trust you,
in all that you have done, for me.
For me, you died,
For you, I live.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Untitled
Long ago, a dream.
The distance now closing in,
strangling, choking.
Held back, waiting.
Days unfold nighttime,
night lays waste to the dream.
Time becoming short,
facing the remnants,
of the dream.
Wonder fills me,
at how I find myself in pieces.
The distance now closing in,
strangling, choking.
Held back, waiting.
Days unfold nighttime,
night lays waste to the dream.
Time becoming short,
facing the remnants,
of the dream.
Wonder fills me,
at how I find myself in pieces.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Finding Myself Picking Up The Pieces Of A Life Less Lived......
How is it I could have the greatest gift, Jesus Christ as my personal savior, and still feel a black abyss within myself?
How is it I could have the light of the world and walk in darkness?
How is it I could take myself to a hidden place each day to hide from the life which I have been freely given to live?
I seem to have turned away, fallen back, missed upon wishful thinking that there was substance in me, in her. At last I find in myself the black spot, hidden, dark, haunting, gnawing its way through my very being. Anger, turned deceitful. Turned pale as the moonlight's shadow cast down upon my heart. This internal struggle not mine alone, but within her as well. Walking together, yet so far apart we miss living life for what it is, what it can be, what it should be.
My glass is neither half full nor half empty, having shattered some time ago; too bad I didn't bother to pick up the pieces and try to place them together again. My heart said it was what I should do, never minding that it could, and likely would, happen again; my mind playing the trickster pulling me away from the pile of knife-edged shards, telling me it was safer that way. You can't get cut if you don't play with sharp objects, even if those objects are your very being, who you are, what you are that has been broken. Years after now, I see that I seem to have lost some of the pieces, pieces that were good, some that were bad. I am not sure if I can ever find them, to have them back; my foolish splendor of keeping myself, my heart, safe from her.
I missed being even as incomplete as I was, now scattered broadly in shame. Likened to a river flowing, full of life, I am now but a dried up creek bed that floods with rushing anger when the storm inside rages and I lose the fight against it.
I once heard that one's life is like an open book; my pages are tattered, torn and the novel being placed high upon a hidden shelf. Pages have been wrenched from within, strewn crumpled down my path, some having been a product of me, some of others. Can I finish what is already written, my novel of life has writer's block; blocks placed out of hurt, out of fear, out of anger hinder my travel.
I dare say that in misery, trudging daily life takes on a horrendous appeal that creates hollows within, hollows that sleep, hollows that gnaw, hollows that wrench my very being with panic, pain. Fleeting imagery flashes in a dream, a time gone by when life seemed to lift me up; now it is I who must lift my life up to regain part of who I am, who God made me to be with the realization it is for Him.
Resurrecting my very being from the smallest part, to the largest; He will guide me, build me, cover me. The pages of this life flutter in the sweet breeze that whispers His love, opening as a morning flower ready to sing His praise. He shall be my cover, my protector, my guardian and I will give Him all the praise, honor and glory that is due.
Giving thanks for all things, trials and tribulations that generate character, that grind away the rough to reveal unto Him the diamond He placed to shine, awaiting the final polishing at His feet in Heaven. She is my diamond that He prepared for me, to shine for me and I was the dull lackluster coating that tried to cover her brilliance, her life to keep myself safe, away from pain that happens in love.
This life less lived.......now must be lived to the greatness He has planned, ordained and set before me. I no longer want a glass that is shattered, but I desire it to be whole again. If I said it was half-empty I would desire to view it as half-full; the true desire is not either half but overflowing. Blocks being moved around, tore down in this life so that I may live without regard to the pain that may come, the dark that may try to overshadow me. For the light is within my soul, that no shadow can overcome, the light I did not fully understand, the light I at times tried to side-step. He shall be a lamp unto my feet, and I will try not to side-step on to my own path as I have done so many times, hiding the light that guides my way.
Moving forward, not withstanding the healing process that must endure for a short while, I am finding the life I live to start opening up, to start freeing me from the bounds I placed about myself.
How is it I could have the light of the world and walk in darkness?
How is it I could take myself to a hidden place each day to hide from the life which I have been freely given to live?
I seem to have turned away, fallen back, missed upon wishful thinking that there was substance in me, in her. At last I find in myself the black spot, hidden, dark, haunting, gnawing its way through my very being. Anger, turned deceitful. Turned pale as the moonlight's shadow cast down upon my heart. This internal struggle not mine alone, but within her as well. Walking together, yet so far apart we miss living life for what it is, what it can be, what it should be.
My glass is neither half full nor half empty, having shattered some time ago; too bad I didn't bother to pick up the pieces and try to place them together again. My heart said it was what I should do, never minding that it could, and likely would, happen again; my mind playing the trickster pulling me away from the pile of knife-edged shards, telling me it was safer that way. You can't get cut if you don't play with sharp objects, even if those objects are your very being, who you are, what you are that has been broken. Years after now, I see that I seem to have lost some of the pieces, pieces that were good, some that were bad. I am not sure if I can ever find them, to have them back; my foolish splendor of keeping myself, my heart, safe from her.
I missed being even as incomplete as I was, now scattered broadly in shame. Likened to a river flowing, full of life, I am now but a dried up creek bed that floods with rushing anger when the storm inside rages and I lose the fight against it.
I once heard that one's life is like an open book; my pages are tattered, torn and the novel being placed high upon a hidden shelf. Pages have been wrenched from within, strewn crumpled down my path, some having been a product of me, some of others. Can I finish what is already written, my novel of life has writer's block; blocks placed out of hurt, out of fear, out of anger hinder my travel.
I dare say that in misery, trudging daily life takes on a horrendous appeal that creates hollows within, hollows that sleep, hollows that gnaw, hollows that wrench my very being with panic, pain. Fleeting imagery flashes in a dream, a time gone by when life seemed to lift me up; now it is I who must lift my life up to regain part of who I am, who God made me to be with the realization it is for Him.
Resurrecting my very being from the smallest part, to the largest; He will guide me, build me, cover me. The pages of this life flutter in the sweet breeze that whispers His love, opening as a morning flower ready to sing His praise. He shall be my cover, my protector, my guardian and I will give Him all the praise, honor and glory that is due.
Giving thanks for all things, trials and tribulations that generate character, that grind away the rough to reveal unto Him the diamond He placed to shine, awaiting the final polishing at His feet in Heaven. She is my diamond that He prepared for me, to shine for me and I was the dull lackluster coating that tried to cover her brilliance, her life to keep myself safe, away from pain that happens in love.
This life less lived.......now must be lived to the greatness He has planned, ordained and set before me. I no longer want a glass that is shattered, but I desire it to be whole again. If I said it was half-empty I would desire to view it as half-full; the true desire is not either half but overflowing. Blocks being moved around, tore down in this life so that I may live without regard to the pain that may come, the dark that may try to overshadow me. For the light is within my soul, that no shadow can overcome, the light I did not fully understand, the light I at times tried to side-step. He shall be a lamp unto my feet, and I will try not to side-step on to my own path as I have done so many times, hiding the light that guides my way.
Moving forward, not withstanding the healing process that must endure for a short while, I am finding the life I live to start opening up, to start freeing me from the bounds I placed about myself.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Surgery Outcome
Surgery went well, all is good and I have healed pretty good, but the Dr. will tell me for sure on Wednesday.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Surgery
I have surgery 8:30 am on Tuesday Feb. 6th. Fun eh? At least they will get me fixed up.
I may be posting some on here this week while I am laid up from surgery, not sure yet.
I may be posting some on here this week while I am laid up from surgery, not sure yet.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Health
It seems funny, I break but in strange ways. I could see pulling a muscle from doing something stupid, or breaking my arm or a leg. I could even see other ways that would be "normal". But for me, I had a blood clot when I was 28......now I have two tumors just above my navel that are causing some discomfort, coupled with a possible umbellical hernia. The hernia I could understand - you strain yourself to cause damage. But tumors? Luckily the doctor has said at this point they appear to just be lipomas or just a glob of fatty tissue that has collected or grown without any known causes and they do not turn cancerous.
So anyways, strange things our bodies do to us.
Well, enough on that strangeness....I have some more ideas coming about some scripture I have been reading through and will be posting some thoughts about that in the coming weeks/months.
So anyways, strange things our bodies do to us.
Well, enough on that strangeness....I have some more ideas coming about some scripture I have been reading through and will be posting some thoughts about that in the coming weeks/months.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Great resources
Just wanted to point out to people who may visit here some cool web links have been added to the list on the right.
Thought of the day:
Celebrate Christ this year, not money.
Thought of the day:
Celebrate Christ this year, not money.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Modern Technology
Yes, that's right through modern technology, anyone who loves me can now donate to My Harley Fund. Just click on the ChipIn box located in the right column.
Well, how is that for blatantly asking for money. Seriously, I am thinking of using the ChipIn box on another site I own as a way to gather donations for providing web design tutorials, page templates and layouts and so on (and yes I will may use it towards a Harley).
HOWEVER, I am thinking of creating an event for this blog that would be for saving donations to take a missions trip with my wife, or for raising money for specific Christian causes, such as rasing money for a rescue mission to help with meals, or if there is a church in need.
Well, how is that for blatantly asking for money. Seriously, I am thinking of using the ChipIn box on another site I own as a way to gather donations for providing web design tutorials, page templates and layouts and so on (and yes I will may use it towards a Harley).
HOWEVER, I am thinking of creating an event for this blog that would be for saving donations to take a missions trip with my wife, or for raising money for specific Christian causes, such as rasing money for a rescue mission to help with meals, or if there is a church in need.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Imaginary Friends
Imaginary friends - My myspace.com page reads that I have 3 friends. According to what it shows in terms of thumbnails, links or anything else in the friends listing I only have two.
I thought I was past the imaginary friend stage, but I guess not, at least not according to myspace. http://www.myspace.com/southplatte
Author Unknown.....
I got the following in an email - I have no clue who originally wrote it to give proper credit - but the Lord knows who it was and I pray they are blessed.
A Christmas poem to remind us to say Merry Christmas!
How the "Left" Stole
Christmas
Twas the month
before Christmas
When all through
our land,
Not a Christian
was praying,
Nor taking a
stand.
See the PC
Police had taken away,
The reason for
Christmas - no one could say.
The children
were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds
and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt
people's feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th
is just a " Holiday ".
Yet the
shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks
down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from
Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was
changing, something quite odd!
Retailers
promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to
sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were
hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the
word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and
Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear
the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.
Inclusive,
sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that
were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle,
Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on
Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !
At the top of
the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate
Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke
not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to
speak of salvation and grace.
The true Gift
of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for
the season, stopped before it started.
So as you
celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"
Sipping your
Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your
words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS,
not Happy Holiday !
A Christmas poem to remind us to say Merry Christmas!
How the "Left" Stole
Christmas
Twas the month
before Christmas
When all through
our land,
Not a Christian
was praying,
Nor taking a
stand.
See the PC
Police had taken away,
The reason for
Christmas - no one could say.
The children
were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds
and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt
people's feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th
is just a " Holiday ".
Yet the
shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks
down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from
Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was
changing, something quite odd!
Retailers
promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to
sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were
hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the
word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and
Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear
the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.
Inclusive,
sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that
were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle,
Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on
Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !
At the top of
the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate
Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke
not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to
speak of salvation and grace.
The true Gift
of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for
the season, stopped before it started.
So as you
celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"
Sipping your
Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your
words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS,
not Happy Holiday !
When you're wrong.....
I know that many of you, like me, hardly ever feel you are wrong. Well, to that end, I am wrong. Was wrong, and realize now that I completely, and utterly almost ruined a very good thing.
Truly, a blessing in disguise, an opportunity to let Christ's light shine through me.
For all my mistakes, my blunders, my disobedience, the Lord still has showered blessings beyond comprehension on myself and my family. Many times we feel that blessings come in the form of monetary or material items, while it is true they can be, more oft than not, they are situations, circumstances and things that just open our eyes, nudge our hearts. Times come though, that it may be a form of monetary blessing, unexpected, or a material item that is sorely needed.
We then take that blessing, and use it as a tool to let Christ's light shine through us, to others. That is a blessing in and of itself - to be able to take what Christ has given us, and use it to glorify Him - as it should be.
This month, okay it's only November 30, but tomorrow is December 1 and I am talking the month of December, take 5 minutes a day to reflect on all that you have, and not just monetary or materalistic. Take into account situations that have shown you Christ's light, or allowed you to show Christ's light and works in your life to a family member, a friend, a stranger. Reflect on the salvation of your soul, that of your neighbor. Take 5 minutes to do something for someone other than yourself, to be a blessing in disguise to them. Take that 5 minutes just to reflect upon the greatness of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Let's let Christ's light shine through us so bright this month, that we change the world for His glory.
Truly, a blessing in disguise, an opportunity to let Christ's light shine through me.
For all my mistakes, my blunders, my disobedience, the Lord still has showered blessings beyond comprehension on myself and my family. Many times we feel that blessings come in the form of monetary or material items, while it is true they can be, more oft than not, they are situations, circumstances and things that just open our eyes, nudge our hearts. Times come though, that it may be a form of monetary blessing, unexpected, or a material item that is sorely needed.
We then take that blessing, and use it as a tool to let Christ's light shine through us, to others. That is a blessing in and of itself - to be able to take what Christ has given us, and use it to glorify Him - as it should be.
This month, okay it's only November 30, but tomorrow is December 1 and I am talking the month of December, take 5 minutes a day to reflect on all that you have, and not just monetary or materalistic. Take into account situations that have shown you Christ's light, or allowed you to show Christ's light and works in your life to a family member, a friend, a stranger. Reflect on the salvation of your soul, that of your neighbor. Take 5 minutes to do something for someone other than yourself, to be a blessing in disguise to them. Take that 5 minutes just to reflect upon the greatness of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Let's let Christ's light shine through us so bright this month, that we change the world for His glory.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Eye Openers
(Please note, this post was originally started November, 28th, 2006.)
While working today, I was priviledged to a wonderous eye opener.
It's not that we carry out our daily lives in oblivion, but that we have grown to be the calloused point of societal ignorance.
It is this point, that when we carry our daily lives in such mundaneness, that we find we hate life, ourselves; yet very rarely ever escape what we have created, being blinded to that which has been given us to manage, carry-out, perform for Him. We play the game, knowing that in the end our side wins, but in the internal struggle we lose. We lose parts of us, parts of our faith, parts of our family and friends.
While working today, I was priviledged to a wonderous eye opener.
It's not that we carry out our daily lives in oblivion, but that we have grown to be the calloused point of societal ignorance.
It is this point, that when we carry our daily lives in such mundaneness, that we find we hate life, ourselves; yet very rarely ever escape what we have created, being blinded to that which has been given us to manage, carry-out, perform for Him. We play the game, knowing that in the end our side wins, but in the internal struggle we lose. We lose parts of us, parts of our faith, parts of our family and friends.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Define Crazy....
Define Crazy:
Working out for one hour, three days a week, performing aerobic, conditioning and strength training on those three days for a complete well rounded workout practice.
Eat healthy meals, low in fats and cholesterol.
Then destroy it all by smoking a pack and half of cigarettes a day, and drinking a six pack of beer every other day.
It makes me think of this analogy:
Take a 1964 1/2 Mustang, trick it, fix it, paint and put all the conditioning into it, then take it out every other day on a dirt road in the country, drive it about 60 mph, do some 360s in it, go splash through some mud and just tear it up in general.
Then repeat that every day and on the odd days washing it, cleaning it, fixing it, and conditioning it.
Pretty crazy huh? Yeah, but the car is an inanimate object that accomplishes nothing for Christ, while the body is the vessel His light travels through in this dark old world.
At least years ago when I drank and smoked I tried not to pretend to do "healthy" things in all other aspects of my life....such as I never took issue about drinking tap water because of all the "pollutants" in it. Okay, wait a minute, I did to do that....I bet you didn't know that about me huh? I refused to drink the water in my old town because it was "nasty", yet I smoked, I drank and did other things at that time in my life. I don't think the water has anything on the damage the smoking, drinking had on me.
Have you ever met or known someone who was like that? They would ingest smoke "pollutants", alcohol "pollutants", yet turn around, eat tofu (because red meat has too much garbage and bad stuff in it, or cows are gross to eat), refuse to drink the tap water and think that they actually stood for something?
Maybe if we all kept Christ as the center of our focus we would all stand for something, all the time. I know that is something I need to work on, everyday, standing up for Christ. The rest will all handle itself because we are taught that with Christ at the center of our focus, he takes us through all things.
Working out for one hour, three days a week, performing aerobic, conditioning and strength training on those three days for a complete well rounded workout practice.
Eat healthy meals, low in fats and cholesterol.
Then destroy it all by smoking a pack and half of cigarettes a day, and drinking a six pack of beer every other day.
It makes me think of this analogy:
Take a 1964 1/2 Mustang, trick it, fix it, paint and put all the conditioning into it, then take it out every other day on a dirt road in the country, drive it about 60 mph, do some 360s in it, go splash through some mud and just tear it up in general.
Then repeat that every day and on the odd days washing it, cleaning it, fixing it, and conditioning it.
Pretty crazy huh? Yeah, but the car is an inanimate object that accomplishes nothing for Christ, while the body is the vessel His light travels through in this dark old world.
At least years ago when I drank and smoked I tried not to pretend to do "healthy" things in all other aspects of my life....such as I never took issue about drinking tap water because of all the "pollutants" in it. Okay, wait a minute, I did to do that....I bet you didn't know that about me huh? I refused to drink the water in my old town because it was "nasty", yet I smoked, I drank and did other things at that time in my life. I don't think the water has anything on the damage the smoking, drinking had on me.
Have you ever met or known someone who was like that? They would ingest smoke "pollutants", alcohol "pollutants", yet turn around, eat tofu (because red meat has too much garbage and bad stuff in it, or cows are gross to eat), refuse to drink the tap water and think that they actually stood for something?
Maybe if we all kept Christ as the center of our focus we would all stand for something, all the time. I know that is something I need to work on, everyday, standing up for Christ. The rest will all handle itself because we are taught that with Christ at the center of our focus, he takes us through all things.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Boxes? What boxes?
I have wanted to write about boxes, limiting boxes and boundaries for quite some time, as probably mentioned earlier.
In thinking of recent events, what kind of Boxes do you think that Ted Haggard will have to deal with in going forward from his currently situation? Do you even want to fathom that? I do not.
Why? Because I hate limiting boxes, and boxes abound when someone makes poor choices. Too many times people act as though they have never made a poor choice, or that their choice was not as poor as your choice. Similar to the illustration below about hypocrites:
Matthew 6 verses 1-7 Illustrates this point to a degree:
1
Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
2
Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
3
But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
4
That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
5
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
7
But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
That they may be seen of men. Think of that for a moment - the profoundly simple truth of it. Man places limiting boxes on people, not God.
For I was once told I could expect never to be much within a church as a servant. Maybe a Sunday School teacher, a choir member and such, but never a deacon, surely not a Youth Pastor, and most definitely probably not ever a Pastor, and that if, beings I felt I was being called into the ministry, that was what I felt I should be, but could never be, I would never be in the "Perfect" will of God. I could be in the "Good" will of God, but not the perfect will.
I almost stopped serving right then and there - in some areas, many areas I did stop serving. I kept two things going, and that was because I could see the impact and the change in lives because of them. I also knew the consequences would be much more than I could bear if I quit it all together.
See, these type of boxes, limiting boxes, take the Lord right out of the Servitude of a church member. Of a fellow Christian. Of a son or daughter, parent or grand-parent. Let's take a look at the reasoning behind the killing of my servitude.
I married a divorced woman. A woman who divorced her husband partially because of an affair she was having with me, and partially because her marriage was long done and over. That's it. Right there. I had an affair, with the woman I later married. Sound similar to David? Yup, but in my human mind I can say, I never killed my wife's husband (or ex-husband). Did David continue to serve as king and serve God? You bet he did, were there consequences? Yes, and we have had to face our own consequences, and it hasn't always been something that went wrong with us, but something with the kids that you just knew was there to teach you a lesson about what you did. See, the way I see and understand it now, I did no worse than David and I did no better than David. We both committed adultery. A Sin. From there unto confession, repentance and the forgiveness, life is nothing but tribulation, something I speak from personal experience and something that was written about David for proof. Doesn't matter if I ever killed anyone, one Sin is the same as a thousand - it is wrong from all angles.
Hmmm.....let's take a look at Paul. Goodness, he was a piece of work wasn't he? He was a Christian killer, going around purposely killing anyone who proclaimed Christ or God, or anything to do with it. Man, that is brutal to use a modern term, horrendous, atrocious. Yet, the better part of the New Testament was written by who? Paul. Did he still serve God after his crimes? Sure! Did he pay a price for those crimes? Sure.
David and Paul both had their Servitude, and God did not box them in, he led them where he wanted them, how he wanted them and as far as they were willing.
Can you imagine for 2 minutes what would happen in the modern day church if Paul or David said they felt called into the Ministry? What would happen if they said they felt God calling them to something more than just sitting in a Pew? What if they felt called to sing in choir? To be a deacon (would you nominate them??)? Or if they felt called to pastor a church, would you be one of their members?
Or would you say they had no right to be there because of choices they had made previously, which in your focus on their Sin rather than your Sin, you give no regard to God's will?
I know what I would say and do. I would treat them just as any other person I met - I would call them my brother in Christ, lift them up in prayer and allow God to work in their lives, not try to force my working on their lives.
Boxes are made by man, as God has shown us that Sin is Sin. There is no distinction made between murder, adultery, lying and thievery. An impure thought is just as wrong as an affair, as pointed out in Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." How many pastors have had an impure thought? Just because they are pastors doesn't make them immune to is, as Ted Haggard proved. Yet too many pastors, deacons and elders can and unfortunately do sit and place a box on their congregation members and dictate where, how and why they can serve God, based upon their past choices - acting the hypocrite as though they have had no past, and currently do not fight with struggles to live a pure life.
My friend Jamey has a prayer request on his blog about the pure life in regards to the Ted Haggard situation, and the fact that the devil is out to get anyone and everyone. To quote "What has happened should be an example to all that anyone can fall into gross sin. No one is exempt from Satan's vices."
No one is exempt from Satan's vices. No one. Not the pastor, not the deacons, not the elders. It is one thing to point the sinner in the direction of forgiveness and repentance. It is another to condemn them for their Sin or past, which is no worse nor better than your Sin or past.
Jesus, speaking to the woman taken in adultery, says "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." (John 8:10)
Jesus hung upon a cross on Calvary, to be spat upon, beaten, pierced, and crucified unto death, to have the cup of Sin poured in Him, to have the Father turn from him. Why? For His love for us was meant to free us from the condemnation of the Lake of Fire. Not to box us into not being able to accomplish that which he calls us to do.
In thinking of recent events, what kind of Boxes do you think that Ted Haggard will have to deal with in going forward from his currently situation? Do you even want to fathom that? I do not.
Why? Because I hate limiting boxes, and boxes abound when someone makes poor choices. Too many times people act as though they have never made a poor choice, or that their choice was not as poor as your choice. Similar to the illustration below about hypocrites:
Matthew 6 verses 1-7 Illustrates this point to a degree:
1
Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
2
Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
3
But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
4
That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
5
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
7
But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
That they may be seen of men. Think of that for a moment - the profoundly simple truth of it. Man places limiting boxes on people, not God.
For I was once told I could expect never to be much within a church as a servant. Maybe a Sunday School teacher, a choir member and such, but never a deacon, surely not a Youth Pastor, and most definitely probably not ever a Pastor, and that if, beings I felt I was being called into the ministry, that was what I felt I should be, but could never be, I would never be in the "Perfect" will of God. I could be in the "Good" will of God, but not the perfect will.
I almost stopped serving right then and there - in some areas, many areas I did stop serving. I kept two things going, and that was because I could see the impact and the change in lives because of them. I also knew the consequences would be much more than I could bear if I quit it all together.
See, these type of boxes, limiting boxes, take the Lord right out of the Servitude of a church member. Of a fellow Christian. Of a son or daughter, parent or grand-parent. Let's take a look at the reasoning behind the killing of my servitude.
I married a divorced woman. A woman who divorced her husband partially because of an affair she was having with me, and partially because her marriage was long done and over. That's it. Right there. I had an affair, with the woman I later married. Sound similar to David? Yup, but in my human mind I can say, I never killed my wife's husband (or ex-husband). Did David continue to serve as king and serve God? You bet he did, were there consequences? Yes, and we have had to face our own consequences, and it hasn't always been something that went wrong with us, but something with the kids that you just knew was there to teach you a lesson about what you did. See, the way I see and understand it now, I did no worse than David and I did no better than David. We both committed adultery. A Sin. From there unto confession, repentance and the forgiveness, life is nothing but tribulation, something I speak from personal experience and something that was written about David for proof. Doesn't matter if I ever killed anyone, one Sin is the same as a thousand - it is wrong from all angles.
Hmmm.....let's take a look at Paul. Goodness, he was a piece of work wasn't he? He was a Christian killer, going around purposely killing anyone who proclaimed Christ or God, or anything to do with it. Man, that is brutal to use a modern term, horrendous, atrocious. Yet, the better part of the New Testament was written by who? Paul. Did he still serve God after his crimes? Sure! Did he pay a price for those crimes? Sure.
David and Paul both had their Servitude, and God did not box them in, he led them where he wanted them, how he wanted them and as far as they were willing.
Can you imagine for 2 minutes what would happen in the modern day church if Paul or David said they felt called into the Ministry? What would happen if they said they felt God calling them to something more than just sitting in a Pew? What if they felt called to sing in choir? To be a deacon (would you nominate them??)? Or if they felt called to pastor a church, would you be one of their members?
Or would you say they had no right to be there because of choices they had made previously, which in your focus on their Sin rather than your Sin, you give no regard to God's will?
I know what I would say and do. I would treat them just as any other person I met - I would call them my brother in Christ, lift them up in prayer and allow God to work in their lives, not try to force my working on their lives.
Boxes are made by man, as God has shown us that Sin is Sin. There is no distinction made between murder, adultery, lying and thievery. An impure thought is just as wrong as an affair, as pointed out in Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." How many pastors have had an impure thought? Just because they are pastors doesn't make them immune to is, as Ted Haggard proved. Yet too many pastors, deacons and elders can and unfortunately do sit and place a box on their congregation members and dictate where, how and why they can serve God, based upon their past choices - acting the hypocrite as though they have had no past, and currently do not fight with struggles to live a pure life.
My friend Jamey has a prayer request on his blog about the pure life in regards to the Ted Haggard situation, and the fact that the devil is out to get anyone and everyone. To quote "What has happened should be an example to all that anyone can fall into gross sin. No one is exempt from Satan's vices."
No one is exempt from Satan's vices. No one. Not the pastor, not the deacons, not the elders. It is one thing to point the sinner in the direction of forgiveness and repentance. It is another to condemn them for their Sin or past, which is no worse nor better than your Sin or past.
Jesus, speaking to the woman taken in adultery, says "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." (John 8:10)
Jesus hung upon a cross on Calvary, to be spat upon, beaten, pierced, and crucified unto death, to have the cup of Sin poured in Him, to have the Father turn from him. Why? For His love for us was meant to free us from the condemnation of the Lake of Fire. Not to box us into not being able to accomplish that which he calls us to do.
The Problem With eBay
This is a bit off-topic, and more a rant than a mindless-mind-babble...but oh well.
Do you know the problem with eBay? Crooks.
You try to sell a decent item, at a decent price and next thing you know the buyer is demanding you refund shipping charges that were not even incurred (he refused to send the item back for repair, thus no shipping charges were incurred), or he is going to complain to eBay that you sold stolen merchandise.
Whoa - wait a minute. Who's the crook here? I bought an item, tested it, it worked okay with a few errors, I stated the errors, sold it AS-IS and now he is going to claim I sold him stolen goods, that I knew about the problem, and I should comply or he will dispute the charges with PayPal, file a claim to eBay about me selling a stolen item and take me through the wringer?
I don't think so.
First, I have the contact info of where I purchased said item from, second I have years as a tech to back up my testing, third I offered to repair it, but he refused because it would cost "too much to ship it back", fourth he now demands I "refund" the shipping charges that he "would" have paid had he sent it back.
Wow....whoa....wait.
No. I don't think so. Huh, uh! Get lost!
Anyway, I told him that if he really felt I sold stolen goods he could contact the law enforcement agency and my attorney rather than eBay. Or he could go through eBay and find out the same information that the law enforcement and my attorney would tell him.
Either way, I have little faith in selling items on eBay anymore.
Do you know the problem with eBay? Crooks.
You try to sell a decent item, at a decent price and next thing you know the buyer is demanding you refund shipping charges that were not even incurred (he refused to send the item back for repair, thus no shipping charges were incurred), or he is going to complain to eBay that you sold stolen merchandise.
Whoa - wait a minute. Who's the crook here? I bought an item, tested it, it worked okay with a few errors, I stated the errors, sold it AS-IS and now he is going to claim I sold him stolen goods, that I knew about the problem, and I should comply or he will dispute the charges with PayPal, file a claim to eBay about me selling a stolen item and take me through the wringer?
I don't think so.
First, I have the contact info of where I purchased said item from, second I have years as a tech to back up my testing, third I offered to repair it, but he refused because it would cost "too much to ship it back", fourth he now demands I "refund" the shipping charges that he "would" have paid had he sent it back.
Wow....whoa....wait.
No. I don't think so. Huh, uh! Get lost!
Anyway, I told him that if he really felt I sold stolen goods he could contact the law enforcement agency and my attorney rather than eBay. Or he could go through eBay and find out the same information that the law enforcement and my attorney would tell him.
Either way, I have little faith in selling items on eBay anymore.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Sin, Servitude and Views
Okay, I am finally getting around to post about what I talked about earlier, Sin, Servitude and Views of each.
One of the best things that we, as Christians do, is claim that we are followers of Christ. That we look to Jesus for our model to try to mold ourselves around. That is what we are supposed to do according to the scripture, is be Christ Like. (1 Peter 2:21, KJV)
One of the worst things that we, as Christians do, is claim that we are followers of Christ. That we look to Jesus for our model to try to mold ourselves around. That is what we are supposed to do according to the scripture, but the Scripture is full of people who failed, even though they were full of the love of Christ, they were servants of God, and did wondrous things in the name of God.
David, a man after God's own heart, failed miserably, and had much misfortune flow down through his lineage. Why? Sin. One little three letter word. Sin. See, four letter words are commonly referred to as being bad in our society, you know the "cuss" words. But they are merely the larger smoke screen for the issue at hand, that is known as Sin. Now, before you think I am getting all "Holier Than Thou" on you, ponder this for one minute - Having Christ is not a free license to behave however you want to, however it is the ticket to be able to abide with Him for all eternity, no matter what horrible things one may have done. No matter what.
Okay, so where does that leave us, or take us? Well, God sees Sin as Sin - it is all wrong, and all punishable by eternal separation from God by being cast into Hell. Salvation, by belief that Christ died for all humanity's sins, from the first one committed to the last one at the end of normal human existence as we know it and Christ has come to rule, and the old beguiling serpent the Devil is banished forever, is the key to be able to stay with God forever. Hmm... The basic idea that we come to then, is the fact that Salvation does not excuse Sin, nor does Salvation make it okay to Sin. Salvation means we understand that we have failed the Father, and the only through Christ's intervention, the Son, do we have communion with God the Father. Salvation means that we understand that glancing at a woman in lustfulness is just as wrong as killing.
God does not place levels on Sin. Humans place levels on Sin. The little white lie, is still just that, a lie.
With that in mind, how about servitude? With Sin, you have the wrong servitude - have you ever noticed the people that would just rather sit back, wish they were partaking in the work of the Lord, but they don't? Then a few days, weeks, months or even years later they are completely broken, by Sin? Servitude has no place for Sin and Sin has no place for Servitude.
I personally know when my heart is in the wrong direction, my Servitude, or willingness to serve God in His way, not mine, is lessened. It is weakened. It is destroyed and tore down by Satan, and Satan eats me for lunch that day, binding me, my thoughts, and my actions. I think that happens to us all, and the only way to get past it is to recognize that hey, the quick little thought of "Stupid, idiot drivers..." can be the simple start to something much worse....what if Christ would have said "Stupid, idiot sinners..." and sped around and passed us up? Whew...we would not have a choice of where we end up then when this mortal life is over.
Let's take a minute and pray, for clarity of though, clarity of heart and clarity of wisdom from God, and that through Christ we can strengthen those around us to have better Servitude, to stray from the all damaging Sin that breaks that Servitude and allow Christ's light to so shine through us, we make people wonder what it is we have inside of us, opening up the door to show them how being forgiven leads to Servitude, and Servitude leads to carrying out the Lord's will for our lives, and that we can change the world by sharing our Saviour with them.
One of the best things that we, as Christians do, is claim that we are followers of Christ. That we look to Jesus for our model to try to mold ourselves around. That is what we are supposed to do according to the scripture, is be Christ Like. (1 Peter 2:21, KJV)
One of the worst things that we, as Christians do, is claim that we are followers of Christ. That we look to Jesus for our model to try to mold ourselves around. That is what we are supposed to do according to the scripture, but the Scripture is full of people who failed, even though they were full of the love of Christ, they were servants of God, and did wondrous things in the name of God.
David, a man after God's own heart, failed miserably, and had much misfortune flow down through his lineage. Why? Sin. One little three letter word. Sin. See, four letter words are commonly referred to as being bad in our society, you know the "cuss" words. But they are merely the larger smoke screen for the issue at hand, that is known as Sin. Now, before you think I am getting all "Holier Than Thou" on you, ponder this for one minute - Having Christ is not a free license to behave however you want to, however it is the ticket to be able to abide with Him for all eternity, no matter what horrible things one may have done. No matter what.
Okay, so where does that leave us, or take us? Well, God sees Sin as Sin - it is all wrong, and all punishable by eternal separation from God by being cast into Hell. Salvation, by belief that Christ died for all humanity's sins, from the first one committed to the last one at the end of normal human existence as we know it and Christ has come to rule, and the old beguiling serpent the Devil is banished forever, is the key to be able to stay with God forever. Hmm... The basic idea that we come to then, is the fact that Salvation does not excuse Sin, nor does Salvation make it okay to Sin. Salvation means we understand that we have failed the Father, and the only through Christ's intervention, the Son, do we have communion with God the Father. Salvation means that we understand that glancing at a woman in lustfulness is just as wrong as killing.
God does not place levels on Sin. Humans place levels on Sin. The little white lie, is still just that, a lie.
With that in mind, how about servitude? With Sin, you have the wrong servitude - have you ever noticed the people that would just rather sit back, wish they were partaking in the work of the Lord, but they don't? Then a few days, weeks, months or even years later they are completely broken, by Sin? Servitude has no place for Sin and Sin has no place for Servitude.
I personally know when my heart is in the wrong direction, my Servitude, or willingness to serve God in His way, not mine, is lessened. It is weakened. It is destroyed and tore down by Satan, and Satan eats me for lunch that day, binding me, my thoughts, and my actions. I think that happens to us all, and the only way to get past it is to recognize that hey, the quick little thought of "Stupid, idiot drivers..." can be the simple start to something much worse....what if Christ would have said "Stupid, idiot sinners..." and sped around and passed us up? Whew...we would not have a choice of where we end up then when this mortal life is over.
Let's take a minute and pray, for clarity of though, clarity of heart and clarity of wisdom from God, and that through Christ we can strengthen those around us to have better Servitude, to stray from the all damaging Sin that breaks that Servitude and allow Christ's light to so shine through us, we make people wonder what it is we have inside of us, opening up the door to show them how being forgiven leads to Servitude, and Servitude leads to carrying out the Lord's will for our lives, and that we can change the world by sharing our Saviour with them.
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